I just sent out the first email invitation for Balanced Roar for this project. I am both sick to my stomach and riding high – much like being on a rollercoaster. I use emotional granularity to figure out what’s really going on.
I am f*cking scared putting myself out there to be seen, witnessed, judged even. My heart is pounding! I might puke.
Not because I have any doubt but because pushing past the limits puts me in the Unknown. What if this works? What if it is successful? What then? Life as I know it, as I’m comfortable with, changes. For the better, I am sure, but not like it IS, not familiar. Like finishing a level in Super Mario Brothers: I feel confident I can move on because I completed this level, excited to see what world opens up when I move forward, nervous it might be the molten lava level and not the cute fluffy clouds level.
Ah, fear, that’s what’s under there. I feel scared. But it’s more than that. I looked up the wheel of emotions, developed by psychologist Robert Plutchik. The example below is more in depth than what he developed and is regularly used by psychologists today.
Emotional Granularity
Start in the inner wheel to identify your primary emotion. Follow the track out for more specific words to identify your feelings. This wheel is great for those of us who didn’t grow up with an extensive emotional vocabulary.
So I am Fearful, yes. Not scared, weak, rejected, or threatened. I feel insecure. Anxious.
Dialed in further – insecure – inadequate. Oh that rings a bell. I feel inadequate. That brings tears to my eyes when I say it. Just saying scared did not have that same reaction. I feel inadequate – to lead, to be seen, to be a good steward of success. I feel like I am not enough – oh, that’s a common story for me. Unworthiness.
I feel anxious – worried – actually no, that doesn’t hit as hard. I’m not worried about the content or doing the damn thing, I just did the hardest part. I made a commitment to a dozen people that I would show and teach. I asked close friends who I’ve been in the trenches with. If I open Zoom on the day of and see half their faces, two of their faces, I’ll be reassured. I’m not worried no one will come. I’m not worried they won’t “get it.” I’m not really worried – my faith in this project is sturdy.
Inadequate. That’s it alright! Glad I have therapy today…
I’m also thinking of this concept one of my yoga teachers mentioned in class a few weeks back about changing our emotional state (Tierney from Happiness and Bliss Kula).
Move Up the Spiral
The premise of the upward and downward spiral is that, “Bad feelings lead to even worse feelings. But good feelings create better feelings,” according to the site LawofAttraction.com (where these images are from). I’ve certainly felt negative emotions spiral out of control, and it’s much harder to get out of deep well of shit versus a puddle of frustration.
When I look at the upward spiral, I see emotions up there I can have, emotions that I also have at the same time – hopefulness, enthusiasm, optimism, empowerment.
Back to the emotions wheel – I am also HAPPY I did this! I am proud and truly I am confident. I also feel powerful, courageous, and fuck yeah I feel CREATIVE. I just gave birth. It’s out there now, people can see my baby, more than moving around inside me. Y’all heard it scream. It has a name and a face and it’s breathing. What a thrill!
Taking this time to hone in on the specifics of the emotions is already beneficial. I can see that my fear exists and that it is rational, its name is inadequacy, and it exists alongside happy, proud, confident, powerful, courageous, creative.
Feelings and emotions exist. And they are temporary. And we are entitled to feel them. In fact, we need to feel them in order for them to pass. Emotions are energy in motion. By stopping the motion, that energy gets trapped, sure to present itself later. So let us acknowledge our emotions when they present.
Emotions are energy in motion
According to neuroscientist Dr. Jill Bolte taylor, emotions pass in 90 seconds – if we don’t latch on and create a bigger story. Using brain MRI studies, she found that pausing for only 90 seconds to identify the emotion and label it tamps down the automatic reaction in the amygdala.
When a person has a reaction to something in their environment, there’s a 90-second chemical process that happens in the body; after that, any remaining emotional response is just the person choosing to stay in that emotional loop.
Something happens in the external world, and chemicals are flushed through your body which puts it on full alert. For those chemicals to totally flush out of the body, it takes less than 90 second. This means that for 90 seconds you can watch the process happening, you can fee it happening, and then you can watch it go away.
After that, if you continue to feel fear, anger, and so on, you need to look at the thoughts that you’re thinking that are re-stimulating the circuitry that is resulting in you having this physiological reaction, over and over again.
-Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
HOW COOL IS THAT???
By taking the time to write down my experience while in the state of fear, search for images of the emotions wheel, and find the correct doctor to quote, 90 seconds has more than passed.
Practice
Acknowledge the fear, anger – feelings, emotions. Whatever is coming up.
Feel where it lives in your body.
Use emotional granularity. Name it! Make it specific.
Sit with it for 90 seconds. Longer if needed.
Note what stories come up that want to live in that state. Let them go! Put them in a bubble and let them float away.
Choose to move back to a positive emotional state by:
- Practicing gratitude – your brain can’t be angry and grateful at the same time.
- Reframe – I’m scared, angry etc. AND ALSO happy, proud.
- Honor the shit – it’s okay to be scared, that’s totally rational actually.
- Focus on the positive and the present. The present just is – the future can be scary, the past can be sad.
I hope this is a beneficial daily practice for you. I recently released a Moon Tracking guide. Every night, the offer is to write down your emotional state of the day and track that alongside the lunar cycle and the zodiac moon placement. This provides a lot of information about our emotional weather in relation to the moon. The moon guides our inner world, our emotions, our behavior, our intuition, and our relationships. These two practices together – emotional granularity and moon tracking – provided me with an entire new outlook on my emotional world. If that sounds interesting, check it out here.
As always, I’d love to hear from you!
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